so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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