Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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