I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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