That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
