For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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