I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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