She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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