You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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