You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
