Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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