Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
