ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
