forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
