just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
