"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
