I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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