your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
