This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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