Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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