R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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