I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
