u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
