as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
