Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
