we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
