Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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