Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
