Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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