i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
