Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
