Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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