..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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