it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
