HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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