everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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