So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you traded sex for a burrito?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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