we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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