I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
