she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
