we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
