he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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