I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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