Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
