U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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