At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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