shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
