she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
