i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
