The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
