Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
