Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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