Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
