guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize