Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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