we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
