"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I take back everything I said about communal showers
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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