I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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