thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
