Slut skills are useful in every country.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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