I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Soap is not a condiment
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
