Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
