Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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