Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
