I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
