you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
