I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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