He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
