Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
