I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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